Try Again

 

autumn leaves blowing in sky
sunrise fall colors

 

laying in grassI could stay like this for days, avoiding everything I am supposed to be doing. Far away from the chaos, forever resting.

But that’s not what I should do. That’s not what anybody should do.

If only I had the self-control. Even the fear of failure is not enough to spur me into action. Almost as if I am not afraid of anything. A valuable ability if you ask me just in case you stubbed your damn toe or if you are about to write a paper in the last couple of hours before its due and such other stressful experiences. You are calm in the face of unspeakable horror. Survival instincts, I call them.

Apparently, my superpower is rendered meaningless when it comes to fulfilling my duties. Toes are stubbed, deadlines are over due, the world burns while you YOLO.

I am going to blame all of this on this little beast.

Buzz the little best

I’ll call him Buzz.

Buzz is everything I am and everything I should not be, that deceitful little brute.

Almost nothing about him suggests you be wary of him.

The thing about monsters is they are supposed to be terrifying. Buzz is far from it.

He lets you play, he lets you enjoy, he lets you make noise whenever you want, however you want.

what are you upto

eats popcorn

You’ve to hand to him though, he’s completely committed to wasting time. Relentless in his pursuit of all things trivial.

cliffhanger

one more

The noise grows louder and louder until you are unable to hear your own voice.

When I am trying to have fun with Buzz I am trying to chase something, some sense of fulfillment.  It always feels within arms reach, if I could just reach out with my hand, if I could just spend 5 more minutes it will all be worth it, but no matter how far I go I never find it. It feels like you are cursed for eternity and you begin to understand Buzz’s true, malicious powers.

should get back to work

With no end in sight, the fun starts wearing off.

Maybe because having too much fun is just like listening to your favorite song on a loop, over and over again. Eventually, you get bored of it.

guilty

I am terrified to feel this way. So I am afraid of Buzz.

My fear of Buzz drives me more than my (non-existent) fear of failure because I hate that feeling.

It’s a game me and Buzz play.

When I work I imagine myself running away from Buzz.

running away

If he catches up to me before I finish my work I lose.

Let me uoannoyedannoyed

The faster I run the further away he gets. He’s less likely to exert influence when he is far away.

Like in a game I may not always win. Sometimes losing more times than I can win. But I am more likely to try again if I think of it as a game. My pride won’t let me accept defeat from a puny toy like Buzz. I am a much bigger evil than him.

Soon I create enough distance between us.

sunset silhouette
Far away from Buzz, there is blissful silence. Maybe this silence is what I had been chasing before. I can rest again.

sunset night stars silhouette

This brief period of time allows me to breathe, to think, to listen.

This won’t last long. Soon buzz will catch up to me again stronger than before.

try again

But that’s ok. It’s time to run again.run again


Notes: After a lot of setbacks the post is finally here. I am rather annoyed to have to put a copyright on each image, is there a better way? Should I move on to drawing arms and legs of the characters? Knowing my skill set, that’s something I would dread. 

I send fun emails once a week or maybe even less

* It’s like getting assaulted by rainbows *


  • Pinar

    Wow! Your images are amazing! It was so nice to read something different 🙂 xo

    Pinar | beautybakingbella.com

  • Rachael Shortt (PaleGirlRambli

    Absolutely love all the pictures!
    PaleGirlRambling xo

  • Claire ☉

    Did you create all these pictures? They are amazing! It was a brilliant read x

    Claire | clairesyear.com

  • The Black Sheep Theorem

    Yes 🙂 I made them. Thank you!

  • Chloe

    Hi, your fantastic animations just bring his post to life. I’m sure they must have taken ages to design.

  • Sara (1daydreamaway)

    Wow I love your pictures they make this post so unique and a little bit different ?

  • Chloé Jessica
  • Hayley Martin

    So refreshing to read something different! Great illustrations!

    Hayley | hayleyxmartin

  • Laila N

    Love the pictures! Well done on making it yourself ❤️?
    Laila
    http://www.lailabee.blogspot.co.uk

  • The Black Sheep Theorem

    Thank you! You are kind!

  • The Black Sheep Theorem

    Yeah, I only started drawing for the blog, so I take longer than what an experienced person would take to draw these 🙂

  • Love this so much! You have got some serious talent! xx

    http://www.coleoftheball.com

  • The Black Sheep Theorem

    Thank you!

  • Katharine

    No. No arms and legs. They would distract. Nice art. 🙂

  • The Black Sheep Theorem

    There is a vote on no arms and legs, people.
    We are probably going to stick around with these semi stick figure drawings for a while then!

  • Katharine

    Haha! I didn’t mean NO arms and legs, like… Veggie Tales? Not that! 😀

  • The Black Sheep Theorem

    haha god’s no. Btw what are Veggie Tales? o_O I am intrigued.

  • Katharine

    “Veggie Tales” is a series of cartoon shows for kiddos, that teach good character via talking vegetables. There’s Bob The Tomato, who is the moderator, Larry The Cucumber, who is sorta the fall guy, and a whole host of minor characters such as Madam Blueberry, who is “so blue she don’t know what to do” because she cannot fit any more stuff from “StuffMart” into her small house. Whew. Sounds icko, but totally is captivating. My oldest son said he’d never watch anything so arcane, but when we played it for our grandchildren, he got captured by the talking cucumber and sat guffawing like a true adult, finally fledged! 😀 You should watch at least one. Heh heh… 😉
    Anyway, they have no arms or legs. They float around as if they are walking, make music on various instruments as if they have arms, but… nope.

  • The Black Sheep Theorem

    Aahhh, ok let it be known that I never back out of a challenge.
    I accept your dare! But it will have to until the weekend though.
    I have to finish creating a new post. 🙂

  • Katharine

    Well, I was kidding, but they are not too bad. 😉 and there’s no need to rush! 🙂

  • The Black Sheep Theorem

    I actually watched it, then I binged on it, now it’s out of control. Look what you’ve done.

  • Katharine

    Oh dear!
    Your were only supposed to learn that it’s not at all about the legs! 😀
    The only cure for Veggie Tales addiction is to watch them until you throw up? Idk.
    So sorry! Hahaha!

  • Katharine

    So…which was your favorite? I’m kinda partial to Larry Boy’s hero alter-ego with Super Suction Ears! Also like Barbara Manatee! 😀

  • The Black Sheep Theorem

    Larry with silly songs, who writes these songs lol

  • Katharine

    Yeah. Those are amazing, in a way. *she winks*
    I’ve totally enjoyed this exchange. You have a good thing going, here. Glad for you. 🙂

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